I always considered myself one of those guys that just let things that angered or displeased me, role off my shoulder. What I’ve discovered is that I was actually stuffing the feeling.

My wife and one of my best friends; you can fill in the blanks.

If someone lied to me or failed to pay back a $20.00 loan, I would say to myself “it not that big of a deal, what I am going to do beat up everyone that lies or does not pay small loans”. I figured it was much easier on me to let it go.

I didn’t let it go; I just loaded two bullets in the clip. Let’s call them “anger bullets”. As the next weeks and months went by I would continue to load the clip. Train delays made me late for work, my daughter missed her curfew, an unexpected expense, the toilet overflowed and ruined the carpet, and now the clip is full.

 As I stated in the beginning I only know how to stuff feelings, let anger role off my shoulder, and load anger bullets into a clip. But now the clip is full and life’s anger bullets continue to come. The only experience I have is loading clips. I want to go through life loading clips. And I can; after I fire a shot, empty the clip; “somebody’s gonna get shot”.

I have never been to a firing range so my aim will most likely not be accurate. That means that an anger bullet could end up in an innocent bystander. You see most of us will not shoot at the train that delay us, or the toilet that overflowed. But what about that lazy co-worker or better yet my landlord. The Boston Celtics would be a good idea, but they probably have a lot of security, lol.

A clip full of anger bullets and two anger bullets in my hand. The two in my hand belong to my wife and (former) best friend. You can guess what I want to do.

The gun is illegal because I don’t have a permit. You can’t get a permit to walk around with that much anger.

I’ve decided to turn myself in to the authorities. God is the judge; he had mercy on me. He sentenced me to life.

 

Carl Woodson